Practical habits for pure hearts
Issue #147
The words of the Lord are pure words, like silver refined in a furnace on the ground, purified seven times. (Psalm 12:6)
One way to remove all the undesirable impurities from metal is to put it through a refining fire. The metal turns to liquid, and the bad stuff comes to the surface.
The more times you do this, the purer the metal.
In other words, pure silver is silver without anything else. It is silver, and silver alone. A single substance unmixed.
This is true of men as well.
We know that God uses his pure word to shape our minds into pure minds, and refines us with fiery trials to purify us into pure men (1 Pet 1:7).
He desires — indeed requires — men of pure hearts.
A pure heart is an unmixed heart: a heart with singleness of purpose, thought, and devotion.
Psalm 24:3-4 supplies us with two examples of such purity:
Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord?
And who shall stand in his holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
who does not lift up his soul to what is false
and does not swear deceitfully.
First, the man of pure heart “does not lift up his soul to what is false.”
This is purity of worship. Such a man does not serve idols. He does not give of his energy or substance to that which is not of God. He serves the true God alone.
In other words, he has a singleness of devotion.
In the modern day, we have many idols, though they are not made of metal or wood.
This purity of devotion comes up later in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says:
No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money. (Mt 6:24)
The second example of the pure heart in Psalm 24 is that it “does not swear deceitfully.”
This, too, comes up in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says:
Let what you say be simply Yes or No; anything more than this comes from evil. (Mt 5:37)
This is an example of pure speech. It is undivided speech from an undivided heart. The speaker means what he says, and says what he means.
When we think of impure speech we think of profanity, cuss words, lewd jokes, and so forth. But you can keep your tongue from such things, yet still be an impure speaker — if you make promises or vows and don’t keep them, or hedge rather than telling the whole truth.
This is something we all are inclined to do: confessing only that which has already been discovered (or at least suspected) — to avoid greater condemnation.
This behavior stems, of course, from a lack of pure devotion. We are divided and double-minded, between our devotion to God, the Truth, and ourselves and our flesh. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
On that note, Scripture warns us repeatedly about saying much, and doing so rashly. It associates restrained words with a cool spirit:
Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. (Pr 17:27)
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. (Pr 10:19)
Conversely, those who speak with rash or hasty words are foolish and violent:
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Pr 12:18)
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Pr 29:20)
The unrestrained, foolish speaker is depicted as eager to share his opinions on everything — though he rarely has anything truly helpful or insightful to say.
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Pr 18:2)
Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge. (Pr 14:7)
How do you avoid this? How do you develop the discipline of restrained speech?
Here are four things you can do:
1. Pray
Many people speak too much to others because they speak too little to God.
They are anxious and verbose because they need to talk things through with someone.
They should talk it through with God first.
It’s natural to work through issues out loud. We all process things differently, and some of us do it much more verbally. But either way, it is wise to talk an issue through with God first. Doing so, you will find that when you then talk to others, you have less anxiety, and tend to be more restrained. Not only have you already “pre-processed,” but you have also left it with the One who is truly in control.
2. Ruminate
Take time to chew your food. Study an issue from multiple perspectives. Think about it for days, weeks, and months. You’ll find that you are less inclined to confidently and rashly air your opinions and positions.
It can be a helpful rule to simply forbid yourself from giving an opinion on a topic you haven’t thought through for at least a week. If you see an opportunity to stick your oar in, simply ask: “have I chewed on this long enough to really contribute something helpful? Do I have real wisdom, or just unearned head knowledge?”
If someone requests your opinion, ask yourself the same thing. “Am I actually qualified to answer?” Just because someone asks for your thoughts doesn’t mean they know your thoughts are worth sharing. It’s nice that they do — but who is better positioned to actually judge that? You or them?
If you haven’t spent a lot of time thinking through the question, decide whether it’s worth it or not. Then you have two options:
“I haven’t really thought about that. Let me get back to you.”
“I haven’t really thought about that. It’s a good question though.”
3. Listen
Hear what older and wiser men have to say. Let them talk. Ask good questions. Then return to point 3. Pray and meditate on their words. You’ll say fewer stupid things.
4. Mind your own business
Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears. (Proverbs 26:17)
Note how the issue here isn’t the validity of the quarrel. The content of the argument might be a worthy one. The issue is, is it your quarrel? If it is a quarrel that belongs to others, and it’s none of your business because you have no authority over them and no special interest in their peace, then inserting yourself is meddling.
On top of that, it’s also stupid and foolish.
So a very simple thing you can do to better restrain your speech is simply ask yourself: “Is what I’m about to respond to any of my business?” Cultivate not caring if people are wrong. Don’t be so arrogant as to think you are responsible for everyone.
On this topic, Charles Bridges writes,
If we would honor our God in our Christian path, we must take time at every step, for prayer, and for the exercise of sound judgment. Else we shall often rush on unbidden to our loss.
Your time, attention, and focus are a limited resource. You can only care about so many things. You must invest these resources wisely. It is foolish to invest your limited resources in stupid quarrels.
Yet, this also applies to good things which are none of our business.
Some of us keep draining our “accounts” and are flat broke when it comes time to deal with the things given to us by the Lord.
You have to learn to ask, “Is this something I should involve myself in?” If not, don’t.
Now, we all know how deceitful our hearts are. It can be hard to soberly assess the question of whether you “should” get involved in something.
There’s always some justification you can invent. It’s like the reason people keep track of the news. They figure that being informed is generally good.
Maybe so. But the fact that something can be good doesn’t mean that it’s good enough.
There are plenty of “mediocre” goods that, if indulged, will push out far greater ones.
So it can be very helpful to have a clear and simple way to test whether you “should” give your time and attention to something or not.
The very best test I know is one gleaned from the pattern of the Lord’s Supper.
Because the Lord’s Supper is at the center of worship, and worship is at the center of life, there is a surprising amount that we can learn from it.
For instance, the Lord’s Supper is, in a significant sense, the reversal of the first sin. Adam ate wrongly of the sacramental tree, and was cursed for it. Jesus instructs us in how to eat rightly of the sacramental tree — the cross — and blesses us for it.
The pattern of the first sin was to take thanklessly, to eat, then to give.
The pattern of the Lord’s supper is to take, to thank, to give, then to eat.
It is particularly the giving of thanks that is emphasized in every Eucharistic passage of the New Testament. In the gospels, there are ten Eucharistic meals, and they all explicitly follow the same pattern: Jesus takes bread and gives thanks before distributing it.
If we understand eating to be a symbol of all consumption — that is, of taking something into ourselves — then the Lord’s Supper is a model for consumption that is rigthly-ordered before God.
That goes for consuming food, movies, news, even work (Ps 127:2; Pr 4:17).
So of course, it goes for consuming social media, getting involved in debates, and so on.
Therefore, the simplest and best test for whether you “should” get involved in something is whether you can do so while following the pattern laid out in the Lord’s supper.
Can you take hold of the passing dog, and sincerely give thanks to God before consuming it, as Christ models when he takes hold of the bread before consuming it?
This single question cuts through all the rationalizing and qualifying that we like to do in our heads, and exposes our hearts directly to God’s judgment.
Obviously there is no way Adam could have given thanks to God before taking and eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. He knew God had forbidden it.
But by the same token, there are many things we justify to ourselves, and tell ourselves that God doesn’t really have much of an opinion about — which if we have to actually give thanks to him for…put the lie to our intellectual arguments.
Of course, this does require us to get into the habit of giving thanks in all things (1 Thes 5:18).
(So, two birds with one stone really.)
To give a concrete example, people often ask me if I have thoughts on this or that controversy.
My favorite answer is, “I don’t know enough to comment.” It’s sincere. I don’t have an informed opinion on most of the controversies people like to stir up. This is not because my flesh doesn’t crave it. I’m afraid it does. But it is because I can’t see a controversy, give thanks to God for what I’m about to do, and then spend my time diving into it, when I know there is no benefit to myself — and many other things I ought to be doing. I am convicted by Proverbs 20:3, which says, “Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man, but any fool will quarrel.”
To return to where we began, there are many things I might desire to involve myself in — but to do so would be to serve my flesh rather than to serve Christ. We are to have an unmixed devotion to God. Therefore, there are many things we want to do, but which cannot be done in purity of heart.
So we should actively try to avoid them.
One of those things is strife.
We really should feel fine — good, in fact — with being left out of most issues. Haven’t we all got things to do that matter more? Are there not things we ought to devote ourselves to instead?
Secular versus godly ambition
Speaking of pure devotion, it’s normal for red-pilled men pursuing holiness to question whether they are doing enough with what God has given them. The parable of the talents should give us all a healthy fear of developing our gifts with wisdom and ambition.
But our vision for what that looks like must be based on scripture — not the world. It’s no good to ambitiously pursue a vision for our talents which God doesn’t share.
In scripture, it is a quiet and fruitful life which is normative. The recognition we receive is on the basis of achievement in the household, or among a group of peers.
It is rare for a man to become a king, literally or metaphorically.
This is hard for us to grok in the modern day. You can aspire too high as well as too low. Contrary to where the world would push us, God’s chief concern is with how a man manages his own house. That is the means he has given men for building the kingdom of heaven.
The qualifications for shepherds are a good example. Such men are supposed to be models to the flock. But God doesn't say shepherds need to be rich and powerful, or have enormous success or fame in the world. The glory of man is not in view.
He says they must manage their houses faithfully, having holy wives and well-discipled children.
We shouldn’t let our perspective be skewed by celebrity culture, social media, get-rich-quick marketing, or the success metrics commonly championed by secular red pill pundits.
8 practices or mindsets that have helped Michael
Build or join teams to get things done. No one is strong in everything. We all need other people to help us win — and they need you. Find people who are building something, and lend a hand. Or just start building something yourself, and invite people to join in.*
Don’t require or expect your friends to be friends with each other. It’s good to be principled, but usually this kind of mindset is driven by jealousy, possessiveness, or sensitivity — not high morals.
Pursue the things you find interesting or important. Most people are cheap imitations of others, because they never cultivate curiosity. Chasing your curiosity often leads to uncommon insights — and when it doesn’t, at least it’s a fun ride.
Be wary of nostalgia and utopianism. The past wasn’t as great as you remember, and the future — at least the immediate future — won’t live up to the hype. There is space for reminiscing or daydreaming. But these things easily become distractions from the present you live in. Today is the most important day — not yesterday or tomorrow.
Stay clear of vain, bitter, or rebellious men. They are self-consumed and blind. If they don’t repent, they will eventually go supernova and turn into black holes, sucking everything in proximity into them.
Haste is the enemy of lasting progress and stability. It promises a shortcut, but it’s a detour down a dead-end road. Slow and steady isn’t exciting, but it is effective. Turns out that Aesop knew what he was talking about. Be a turtle in a world of hares. Chew your food. Unearned things are worthless things.
It’s impossible to overpraise if the praise is sincere. Most people are discouraged or, even worse, encouraged in the wrong things. Praising the good, the true, and the beautiful is a ministry of love that reinforces the holiness of God in their lives. Lay it on thick as often as you can. To do this, you mustn’t mute your critical eye — but broaden it.
Wisdom won’t make you popular with fools; quite the opposite, it’ll make them hate you, especially if you try to correct them. In a foolish age, popularity and celebrity should be viewed as a spiritual “check engine” light. It might be nothing; maybe God is moving. However, you might be a day away from throwing a rod.
* Speaking of which, did you know we have a Discord discussion group? Join here »
Feminine speech patterns men should try to avoid:
“So” to start sentences
“Guys” to start or end sentences
“Like” to fill sentences
“Super” as an all-purpose superlative
“Right” as a clause-ender (combined with uptalk for extra points)
Our speaking changes our thinking.
Boys disguise disobedience as willingness to give up
Don’t fall for it.
“It’s too hard,” or making a show of failing, are just minced ways of saying, “I don’t want to.”
Give your boys achievable but challenging jobs, and require a completionist mindset.
What power really is
You’ve probably heard that responsibility without power is slavery, and power without responsibility is tyranny.
This is true, but many red-pilled men don’t understand what it means — because they don’t understand power itself.
They think of power only in terms of material coercive force. This is partly because of our idolization of the state — meaning we have elevated the kind of power it wields to become definitive of what power is — but perhaps more especially because these men haven’t learned to build or wield moral authority.
But power over the body can only change behavior. Power over the soul changes hearts.
Which do you think is more powerful?
Notable
There's Really No Good Reason to Use TikTok. Money quote:
TikTok’s model punishes users who want to think carefully about what they’re listening to, and rewards users who are able to take huge, life-altering topics like mental health or religion and compact them into self-referential, 30-second bombs. The only virtue on TikTok is fame, the only foundational truth is the algorithm, and the only argument is the seizing of attention.
Until next month,
Bnonn